|Typical American City In Obama's Second Term|
1) Women will stop shaving their legs and underarms. For you married fellers it will be like sleeping with a guy from your softball league!!
2) All men will need to get RETROACTIVE de-circumcisions. I believe this is also part of Obamacare.
3) Cars will be smaller like those "Smart Cars". They only go about 30 MPH and gangs of bicyclists will not only go faster than you, they'll taunt you and throw broccoli at you.
4) English will no longer be spoken except at the English pavilion at Epcot Center. Everyone will have to learn French or German or Spanish and all television programs will be in a foreign language.
5) Don't even ask what a Quarter Pounder or a Big Mac will be called!
6) Instead of dollars we'll use Amereos which will be less valuable than a Peso and have the Queen of Canada on them instead of "In God We Trust".
7) The US will convert to the metric system - overnight. If you slip up and use English measures your own children will be encouraged to turn you in to the police for shipment to a re-education camp.
8) Most television will be "educational" and football will be soccer. American football will be banned along with baseball. Hot dogs and apple pie will go away forever along with corn dogs. Anyone who wears size 42 or larger pants will have to use a separate line at Wal-Mart.
9) NASCAR will shut down and everyone will have to watch Formula One. Bernie Eccelstone will be made a member of the cabinet.
10) You'll need a passport to go into the next state.
11) Freedom of religion and freedom to own firearms will no longer be the law of the land. Under European Sharia law only terrorists can own guns and Islam is the official religion.
12) You will need to buy all new electrical appliances because all the electricity plugs will be different.
13) Taxes will be higher on everything except for members of the communist party and registered mimes.
14) Most TV shows will be the American ones you like, but they will all be translated into foreign languages.
15) There will be no death penalty, except for drivers who pass on the right.
16) It will be mandatory for every home to have a coo-coo clock.
17) Mention of God will be banned everywhere, including Churches. The pledge of allegiance in schools will be replaced with "The Today Show".
18) The only English channel on TV will be BBC America which will only show re-runs of "Teletubbies", "Brideshead Revisited" and cricket matches.
19) In restaurants, the entree will be the main course and vica-versa. Instead of ice cream, dessert will consist of kidney pudding or thistle.
20) Legally, America's win of WW-2 becomes nullified. Second place finisher Russia becomes the official winner.