It's been a while since my last post and I apologize for that.. Blame it on an extended trip into Bayou country to try a new sport I saw on television: alligator wrestling. My vacation was cut short however by a minor accident that occurred no more than 10 minutes after I arrived in the swamp. I'm glad to report that after 10 weeks in the hospital I am regaining muscle tone in my left arm following the surgical reattachment procedure.
Fortunately, Medicare took care of all my expenses - another reason why I dread the thought of the Federal Government taking over our healthcare system.
I am writing today about the horrendous Obamacare ruling by the Supreme Court. I think it's been clearly established by impartial and reliable news sources that John Roberts is the victim of either an outrageous bribery or extortion plot by the Chicago Mob - or possibly insertion of some sort of alien mind control device by the CIA. I doubt there could be any other explanation.
My dear friend Cpl. Otis Spunkmeyer - whom I most certainly would have served with in Nam had I not been diagnosed with congenital flatfootedness and forced to sit out the war at home - is a true American hero. He is a decorated veteran - he still carries the metal plate in his head which he received after a 305 mm shell casing fell off a high shelf in the Dang Nang Supply depot where he was a clerk and fractured his skull. He has put together a stunning outline of the shocking truth about Obamacare, which I offer below - and suggest you forward via your AOL Email Account (please do not use Gmail as it is owned and operated by the enemy) to your relatives and friends.
TRUTH ABOUT OBAMACARE COMPILED FROM RELIABLE SOURCES
AND VARIOUS CHAIN LETTER EMAILS EXCLUSIVELY FOR
1. ON DAY ONE OF OBAMACARE EVERY AMERICAN WILL NEED TO SCHEDULE THE IMPLANTATION OF A PERSONAL DATA DEVICE IN THEIR BODY FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO TRACK YOUR LOCATION AND ALL BODILY FUNCTIONS. REFUSAL TO ALLOW THE DEVICE TO BE IMPLANTED WILL RESULT IN ARREST AND SHIPMENT TO A FEMA CONCENTRATION CAMP FOR TERMINATION.
2. OBAMACARE WILL RESULT IN A 10% TAX ON EVERYTHING YOU SELL, BUY OR GIVE AWAY. THATS RIGHT WHEN YOU BUY SOMETHING BOTH PARTIES PAY THE TAX. THERE IS ALSO A TAX ON THE SALE OF HOMES, PROPERTIES, GUNS, AMMUNITION, TANNING SALONS, SUNTAN LOTION AND OTHER GOODS AND SUNDRIES. EVEN WHEN YOU PAY A TAX THERE WILL BE A TAX ON THE TAX AND THEN ANOTHER TAX ON THAT TAX.
3. OBAMACARE IMMEDIATELY BANS MANY FOODS INCLUDING: MEAT, CHEESE, POTATOE CHIPS, CANDY, ICE CREAM, BEER AND OTHERS. THE ONLY FOODS IT DOES NOT BAN ARE FRENCH CUISINE, SOUL FOOD AND BROCCOLI.
4. OBAMACARE REDUCES THE NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT TO 35 MPH. ALL TRIPS GREATER THAN 1 MILE MUST BE REPORTED TO THE IRS AND A $100 TAX WILL BE CHARGED. PUBLIC TRANSIT USERS HOWEVER GET $10 GIFT CARDS EVERY TIME THEY TAKE A BUS OR TRAIN, TO ENCOURAGE EUROPEAN STYLE TRANSPORTATION IN THE US.
5. OBAMACARE WILL MAKE THE METRIC SYSTEM US LAW IMMEDIATELY. EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT IN YOUR HOME THAT IS NOT MARKED IN METRIC MUST BE DISCARDED. YOUR HOUSE ALSO HAS TO IMMEDIATELY BE MODIFIED TO METRIC DIMENSIONS OR IT WILL BE SUBJECT TO BULLDOZING OR A MASSIVE TAX.
6. OBAMACARE IMPLEMENTS A TV TAX OF $10 A HOUR BUT ONLY FOR WATCHING FOX NEWS. IT GIVES FREE FOOD STAMPS FOR WATCHING MSNBC OR CNN.
7. OBAMACARE DOES NOT BAN GUNS AS SOME HAVE REPORTED. BUT HE IS SNEAKY AND HAS FIGURED OUT A WAY AROUND THE NRA AND IN FACT OBAMACARE DOES BAN THE SALE OR USE OF BULLETS. OBAMACARE ALSO BANS THE SALE OR USE OF ALL SHARP INSTRUMENTS AND HEAVY BLUNT TOOLS - ACTUALLY IT BANS EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE USED TO INFLICT INJURY ON YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE AT ANY TIME UNDER ANY POSSIBLE SET OF CONDITIONS. BANNED ITEMS INCLUDE: HAMMERS, KNIVES, LAWNMOWERS, SHOVELS, ETC.
8. OBAMACARE IS NOT THE SAME THING AS ROMNEYCARE. THIS IS A LIE. ROMNEY CARE WAS IMPLEMENTED AT THE STATE LEVEL AND IN FACT WAS ORIGINALLY PROPOSED BY GEORGE WASHINGTON HIMSELF. HOWEVER... WASHINGTON SPECIFICALLY STATED THAT IT SHOULD NEVER BE DONE ON A NATIONAL LEVEL, AS HE SAID "THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY WRONG".
9. OBAMACARE MAKES BIG CHANGES TO THE INTERNET INCLUDING THE BANNING OF THE USE OF THE UPPER CASE IN ALL EMAIL AND WEBSIGHTS. BUT GET THIS - OBAMACARE REQUIRES ALL COMPUTERS MADE AFTER A CERTAIN DATE TO INCLUDE EUROPEAN AND ISLAMIC ALPHABETS ON THEIR KEYBOARDS!
10. OBAMACARE IS A MASSIVE BURDEN FOR SMALL BUSINESS. EVEN A CHILD SETTING UP A LEMONAIDE STAND NEEDS TO FILL OUT HUNDREDS OF PAGES OF FORMS AND SPEND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO PROVIDE HEALTH INSURANCE FOR HIM/HERSELF AND ANY OTHER CHILD WHO EVEN SITS BEHIND THE STAND.
11. OBAMACARE AUTHORIZES SHARIA LAW TO BE USED AS THE STANDARD FOR ALL MEDICAL MALPRACTICE CASES AND ADDS THOUSANDS OF UNIONIZED IRS AGENTS TO THE FEDERAL WORKFORCE TO ENFORCE THE LAW AND ARREST VIOLATORS.
12. TSA AGENCY WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SECURITY AT ALL HOSPITALS AND ABORTION CLINICS. ONLY PEOPLE WITH ELITE AIRLINE CLUB MEMBERSHIPS WILL BE ABLE TO PASS THROUGH WITHOUT EXTENSIVE BODY SEARCHES BY UNIONIZED AGENTS WHO ARE MOSTLY RECENTLY RELEASED PRISONERS.
13. AS PREVIOUSLY REPORTED, DEATH PANELS FOR THE ELDERLY WILL BE SET UP VIA YOUR LOCAL POST OFFICE. NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE TO PAY TO HAVE THEM SHIPPED TO THE FEMA TERMINATION CAMP, BUT TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, THERE WILL BE EXTRA CHARGES FOR INSURANCE AND DELIVERY CONFIRMATION.
14. DEMO-RATS LOVE TO TOUT ABOUT COVERAGE FOR "PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS". BUT THEY DON'T SAY A SINGLE WORD ABOUT "FUTURE CONDITIONS". ARE THEY COVERED?
15. NOT ONLY DO ILLEGAL ALIENS GET HEALTHCARE, THEY ALSO RECEIVE FREE SPA AND HEALTH CLUB MEMBERSHIPS AND PREFERRED TREATMENT AT MANY OTHER ESTABLISHMENTS (USE EXPRESS LANE WITH MORE THAN 15 ITEMS AT WALMART, FOR EXAMPLE).